Kawaii-chan's Word of the Week:

Innuendo (n)—1) an indirect remark or gesture that usually carries a suggestion of impropriety. 2) an interpretation of words that are claimed to be libelous where the meaning is not obvious, in a legal action for libel or slander. 3) an explanation of a technical legal word, usually given in brackets

Myu hu hu. Well, let's get to the meat of the story, namely Inha's book review. In light of recent events and laziness, the reviewed book will not be "Harry Potter and the Orderof the Phoenix". In its place we present "How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs: Master Plans And More!!!" by Neil Zawacki with illustrations by James Dignan.

Inha: Well, Zawacki's interesting and humorous "how to" is short, around 160 pages, with stylized illustrations and quick and frank instruactions and advice on how to be the best villain you can be. The book wants to take itself seriously, yet has a light-hearted approach to things like gathering a group of lackies to finding the best secret evil lair. In reality, its more of a farce on most "how to" books, complete with do's and don'ts, even a fill-in secret plan to overthrow the earth.
Its strictly tongue in cheek, so don't be overly paranoid. That's just what every villain aspiring to be great wants you to think, Zawacki included. Its steps deep into the world of evil villainry and asks important questions like: "Should I spring for the ninjas or flying monkeys? Red or black? Shall I use the overly large death ray or try something more subtle like fiend takeover with the Necronomicon?" If there's any book one needs on how to be deliciously evil, this is it.
Every chapter has a quote from famous villains, from the ever terrifying Darth Vader, to the dimunative yet powerful Pinky and the Brain. Every section provides tips, tricks, tools and even advice on gathering youir minions, collecting your tools of destruction and what to do in the event of a swashbuckler hero or a superhero team crashing your dasterdly deeds. Stuck on how to impliment some mental torture on your arch-nemisis? Try sticking him in a hall of mirrors, seal off the exits and then fill it with water or drowing agent of your choice.
The illustrations are sharp, clear, humorous, and downright appropriate for such a book. Dignan's pictures are fun, in the stylized evil sort of way, reminding me of the usual drawings in the advice columns of teen magazines with a 50's flare.
"How to be a Villain" is quite easily one of my favorite books, one that shows uniqueness (seriously, everyone may think of it, but how many are actually on the market?) and insightful humor that no one, heroes, villains, lackies, and wanna-bes alike, should be without. Its an easy read, not many pages, with largeish print, and lots of pictures. I guarantee you'll be rolling on the floor at least once. I give "How to be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs: Master Plans and More!!" a five star treatment, six if I can go over the preset 5-star ratings.

Ashton (reading book): Interesting..... (takes notes) Hadn't thought of *that*.....

THE SEDUCER

You're lovely and desirable; everyone who sees you
wants you and none can resist your charms.
You're the master of the ways of the flesh and
of the mind; seduction, temptation, lust and
passion are your greatest tools. What becomes
of those you draw into your sticky web of
pleasure and excess? Only you know, and you're
not telling -all- your naughty secrets, are
you?

EXAMPLES: Dracula, any incubus, any female
vampire/succubus, most evil femme fatales.


What Kind of Villain Are You?
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*Till next time Lunies!*