I Thought It Was Pronounced as"Pehn-iss"

Kozumi's Quote of the Week:
"Its a word that starts with a P and ends with an '-enis'."
--Tamago, overheard in the car.

I got a shiny new sketchbook!! *hugs sketch book* ^^ Wheee..! Anyway, its summer and this is a time for all of us to do 1 of 2 things: go swimming, or watch an immnse amount of movies. Or go to theme parks and fry off a few layers of skin.

Loki: That's 3.

*dropkick* Shut up shrimp before I consign you to the heap of cross-playing comic character Hel I call a shiny new SKETCHBOOK!

Syndelin: Ah, bookending parallels. Its things like this that almost make this blog seem like its written days in advance.
Aro: When in reality it really isn't in the slightest.

Ah good. Syn's here so today we can review a movie! Joy upon joys!

Aro: If you're one that takes pleasure in torment and torture.
Ashton: Spoken like a true uke, Card Boy.

Syndelin: Ok then. Of the movies recently seen, both on the big screen and on the littler one in the house, one really takes the cake in giving us all the biggest mind-fuck and the most frequent WTF moments since RanLune's first bad movie ordeal: The Star Wars Holiday Special (June 2, 2003, for those who missed it). And believe me, I've been watching some pretty weird things and this isn't counting Shopping Arcade Abenobashi. We've seen Van Helsing, The Stepford Wives, Hellboy, Kill Bill Vols 1& 2, Dodgeball, Stargate, The Life of Brian, and other big screen hits that even made me wonder about my sanity (Dodgeball is definiently one of them), but even Dodgeball doesn't campaire to this movie. No, this movie has made me wonder if playing a bit too many video games inspired not only the makers but myself to sit through its entirety. And wonder why I'd never seen anything like it when something so simple could be produced with so little money. No folks, this movie isn't Evil Dead, but it definently can give Raimi a run for his bad B movie zombie flick money.
This movie was Versus.
At first, this movie was casually mentioned in "polite" conversation with a certain Monkey King--

Loki-chan: You kidding me? "Polite" conversation??
Rya: As polite as verbal abuse is with you.
Loki-chan: Bite me.

Syndelin: -_- Um....causally mentioned as being something like a better ED, if possible, because not only was it shot for something like $8,000 (US $$, don't ask for a conversion back because we suck at math), but it takes all the coolest things about the movie (bad ass hero, zombies, and lots and lots of guns, baby) and does them 5 notches better.

Aro: Leon Kennedy's anti-zombie" arsenal and big-ass boomsticks?
Loki: Check.
Kozumi: I'm guessing $1,200.
Aro: B List actors with good acting ability for B list?
Loki Check.
Kozumi: Um, call it $3,000 or so.
Aro: Hot chick?
Loki Check baby.
Kozumi: .......not touching that one. -_-
Aro: Gallons of fake blood and body parts?
Loki: Check.
Kozumi: $500. There was a sale at Spirt after Halloween.
Aro: Kick-ass movie?
Loki: Check.
Kozumi: Priceless.

Syndelin: You people need a life. Anyway. Need a plot synopses? Think Evil Dead w/ a dash of Resident Evil, without the tree rape scene, but with smarter zombies, Fatal Frame-esque Hell Holes and more ressurection than a 5 hour special on The Passion of the Christ.

Dio: We're all going to Hell for that. And you're all coming with us. ^^
Loki-chan: You want it easier? Its got blood, lotsa blood and guns. BFGs. Its got Yakuza zombies who can USE the guns they died with, hot chicks, an even hotter lead and knife-weilding maniacs.

Syndelin: Hey!! This is my review! Push off! Anyway. So, there's 666 gates to Hell and one of them happens to be in this forest, aptly dubbed the Forest of Ressurection. An escaped convict finds himself in the middle of some Yakuza operation, saves the psychic heroine and, w/ aforementioned Yakuza, guns and knife-weilding manic, engage in some good ol' zombie ass-kicking. Oh, and there's some plot going on about destiny and ressurection (both the undead kind and the Nirvana type).
I was weary of such a film. One: we don't like zombies. Two: After Evil Dead and Resident Evil, I vowed never to sit through a zombie flick ever again. Three: .......wait there wasn't a three.
But then, I have an insatiable appetite for odd films, especially foreign ones, and that goes double for asian action flicks. Ok, zombies....but, smart zombies who can fight. Ok, horror...but its Japanese Horror, the best kind there is...'cept maybe Russian. And French.
Well, it wasn't until Tamago decided to buy it and force it on us unsupectingly after the GameBoy SP for Aise died while playing Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles that we bit the bullet and sat down to watch it. And you know what? I'd never had so many WTF?! moments in my entire life.
First off, I could tell it was low-budget. The lighting, the fact that everything happened solely in the forest, and the inexperienced actors in the first 15 minutes of the film. Add that to the fact that there was absolutely NO background info given on ANY of the characters (Yakuza, cute hostage girl, hot escaped convict.....it was so shallow, even a 3 year old couldn't drown in it), and I was waiting for something ultra l4mx0r to happen. Then, the quirky angles and one chara (from this point on, known henceforth as Happy, cuz that's the antithesis for such a....character) actually got me interested, despite feeling absolutely lost by random Yakuza and opening scenes of monks and zombified samurai. From there, the forest works its magic on a hapless lackey and Poof! Zombie attack scene. Not bad, a lil on the cheesy side, but I didn't have time to worry about that, cuz the protagonist of the story started to strip a dead guy for his threads, AKA: the trenchcoat, every bad-ass's fashion staple.
Then we shed a small, minute amount of light on the plot: the hostage girl is psychic! And the hero-protagonist seems to be called to this place becuase of, as she so haltingly puts it, destiny, whose is entertwined with her own (of course). And the moment we get knee-deep into the cheese, the movie makes with the action. Because little do our unsuspecting Yakuza and fleeing pair know that this forest does something to people, specifically the dead ones. You see, it makes them into walking, groaning, limping undead minons of HELL. Which is all fine and good for our action hungry Happy and his trigger sensitive partner, a bespectacled cutie whom made all of us question his sexuality....or indeed choice in teammates. Meanwhile, the designated Comedy Relief Dude makes with the panicking. And none too soon, as the fleeing pair encounter another member of the mob, and the other 3 say hello to some old friends....well, victims who've been offed by the mob over the years and had been dumped rather unceremoniously in the Forest of Ressurection.
After the slightly bland dialogue and weak plot points, I was wondering if the whole movie would be just as cheesy as a dish of shrimp linguini from Red Lobster. After all, the movie was starting to feel a bit like the Blair Witch Project, with 10 better acting and 10 less shakey cam action. But just as thing boring, the movie switches from l4mxor to all out r0x0r j00r b0x0rz, ass-kicking Battle Royale action. When the denizens of the forest get a lil grumpy over the drama and the Yakuza stamping all over thier makeshift graveyard, heads start rolling. And guts, intestines, arms, you say it and it goes flying.
Its not until this scene thhat I ever thought about what Japanese horror gave to me. Ok, an innate fear of TVs, unmarked videos and ultra-disturbing visuals and situations that makes Kubrik's Clockwork Orange and Pink Floyd's The Wall seem like a PBS program. Not just fear...but ph34r. But this movie also gave me somthing to enjoy, and that is all out ass-kicking, head rolling, stupid funny, WTF crazycool action fight scenes. Fuck Resident Evil, fuck Night of the Living Dead, Versus WILL blow your zombie blasting conceptions through the window Rush Hour 2 style. There simply isn't enough space to describe the innate coolness that these scenes just drip with; the action scenes are simply something you have to see for yourself. Then...you pinch yourself and remember thaat this was shot with less money than a year at Stanford. To quote VigJillante Jill: "Holy RoboJesus WTF".
The action takes breaks, sandwiched bewteen a slightly confusing and sometimes flimsy plot of destiny and ressurection and outlandish and ridculous comedy slices from Comedy Relief Dude and two cops after our escaped convict (or, as I called them, Beavis and Butthead). Sometimes upraoishly funny, other times out of place and just" WTH was that??", these small scenes didn't take away from the real story or action, but it didn't really add to it most of the time. It did serve its purpose like a slice of ginger between sushi; it cleansed the pallete so that another action packed ass-kicking could easily be tasted without too much sensory overloead. And there was a LOT to swallow, with each fight bringing something new to the mix, something unexpected. And as the movie raced along, the story became a little clearer.
The action and drama (in addition to exploding zombies and Battle Royale smackdowns) barely slowed down to the last epic battle between the protagonist and his rival, the mysterious man who held all the answers and seemed almost godly powerful. The answers, too, are given generously during climax times, so that the whole plot connects and the effort isn't wasted in wondering WTH these guys were fighting and what the hell the girl has to do with their destiny. And the gates to Hell.
The music jammed to techno battle type music that puts The Matrix to shame (but then, Matrix had help from its sequels XD), and it set the tones for the battles nicely. Despite being shot exclusively in the forest with few cameras and lighting help, it never got to Blair Witch Project bad. For a low-budget zombie flick, it didn't do so shabby. The accting was a bit cardboard starting out, but the characters got more interesting once you got a handle on what was going one, sorta (and you gave up wrapping your mind around the almost backgroundless character stories).
All in all, Versus is a strong movie for what it is on the surface: a B rate, low-budget zombie flick. Cross Battle Royale, Devil May Cry, and Evil Dead together and you have the startings for Verses. I personally loved this movie and it has rose to be come one of the top 10 in my book. If you like low plot, high action, zombies, guns, and crazy ass Yakuza, then Versus is definently for you. Sam Raimi, Quenten Tarantino, eat your hearts out. 10 out of 10. Watch it. Its good, unclean and harmful fun for the whole family.

*Til next time, Zombies!*